We've all heard this from our dads and titos. And it's true! Men are told to be strong and to man up. But when they let their guards down and demonstrate emotions, it only shows their human side.
I have always known my husband as the emotional kind. He cried when we broke up, he jerked a tear out of him when both of his sisters got married, he teared up when he won the Mr. Nursing stint and well, we wailed buckets at each other the night before he left for Australia.
I was teasing him of how much tears will he let out on our wedding day and amazingly, it never really got into him as he knew it will happen anyway. He couldn't care less. He has in fact embraced that side of his- wholly and proudly. When I asked him of how he felt during our wedding and on what he was thinking then (yes, he choked up), he answered,
"It was a very intense emotion that has to be expressed in a very intense way. Getting married is an exciting experience and yet you know that it is a big leap of faith. After 9 long years, I am finally marrying the woman that I have carefully chosen to spend the rest of my life with, and then you see it happen-right in your very eyes..how could you not cry?! And besides, wedding tears are happy tears so why should I be ashamed?" Tama nga naman!
I would have to point out though that a man boo-hooing for any given circumstance is a different story. And of course it would be really uncomfortable for anyone to see the bride and the groom, or their parents uncontrollably weeping or something. Now, that would mean something else......
Going back, I feel like during a wedding, the birth of a child, and a death of a loved one are the three occasions in life where I'm sure most of us don't mind seeing a man cry. It is actually endearing, in my opinion. Especially in weddings, I feel that it makes a man the complete opposite of weak when he is able to show that kind of true emotion coming from sheer joy. Just the sight of the woman of your dreams looking beautiful and radiant, and dressed to be your wife, isn't that enough to absolutely invoke an emotion from someone who loves her?
I know how it is expected on the bride to cry on such a joyous occasion. My throat was literally hurting and I got misty-eyed when we did the "No Peek" First Look at the hotel. I could not even get myself to finish reading Jake's love letter to me. Those who were there during preps have witnessed the shed of tears of both Jake and I. It was some sort of a sneak peek of what's in store for all of us later on at the church. Sharing with your some snapshots of our No Peek First Look.
Surprisingly, while there was a roller coaster running in my heart at the time when I was just about to walk down the aisle (and I blame it on the majestic, dramatic, automatic, lahat na ng may -ic) wooden door of St. Alphonsus, I did not cry as much as I thought I would. And being the overly transparent person that I am, surprising talaga yun. Kinakabahan pa kami ni Jake as we talked the night before the wedding, "We might create a scene there, nakakahiya. Ah, bahala na nga!" heheheh! So eto, when the door opened very very s l o w w w l y , my heart was skipping a beat. I was teary at the beginning of my walk and rightfully so until I stepped on my wedding gown. And that was the end of my dramatic scene... it was like my "kick" to kick, if that made any sense! I had to shift my concentration between kicking my gown and looking at my groom otherwise, I will be crying not because I was moved to tears but because natapilok na pala ako hahaha! When I glanced at Jake, he was already crying (he admittedly started getting teary once the processional started.) When I saw him in his "crying face", I let out a poised laugh (dapat talaga pa-girl). In fairness, mukhang nag-practice ha, ang guwapo pa rin! :)
Jake wanted his message across to all grooms out there who think they should be all toughie on their most awaited day,
"When a man cries, it only means he is in touch with his feelings. It does not make us any lesser of a man. A man who is unafraid to cry is more sensitive to his wife's feelings and needs; he is sincere and acknowledges the world around him."
In retrospect,
as a bride who just had our wedding barely two months ago, I can still quite recall how special yet nerve wracking it feels for a bride to be seeing her groom for the very first time. I tried describing it to Jake which was no good as he answered back with "Try to remember that feeling and multiply it 10 times over and that is how I felt the first time I saw you."And promise, I melted like cheese...it was just the sweetest thing ever. Below are photos of Jake caught on cam blowing breaths even before the ceremony started hahaha!
Photos by Paul Vincent Photography
Now here are some of Jake's crying moments. He sure knows how to cry beautifully....or not (?!?)
Photos by Paul Vincent Photography
Photo by Manny and April Photography
Some other photos of grooms who went sappy on their wedding day. The first two photos are our friends'.
Nich and Manny, don't complain I got the permission to post from your wives hahaha!
Nicholo "Nich" Francisco married to Marie Chua on 3 January 2013
Manuel Nestor "Manny" Pulido married to April Cabigao on 12 May 2012
At the end of it all, both Jake and I realised that you can plan all you want for how you want to look and act on your wedding day, but sometimes, your emotions just take over. And when that happens, just let it flow and seize the feeling. If you feel like crying, then don't be ashamed to do so. Savour each tiny tad bit as you will only get married once and there shall be no repeat (unless stated otherwise.)
So..... I guess that while the saying that "boys don't cry" is true.... I would happily like to add, "yet men do." <3 <3 <3
